Confidence...what is it and how do you get it?

Confidence is a thing that I would like to call a nominalization. I hear people say "I need more confidence" or "I wish I had that kind of confidence." 

Paul Ross, my NLP mentor and guru, taught me that there is no such THING as confidence. You cannot go to the store and buy a bottle of confidence.  simply put, confidence is a process that happens in the brain and YOU CAN have and evoke the process at will!

First, lets clear up the nominalization of confidence. When people say "You need to have confidence" they are referring to performance confidence. If a basketball player shoots 1,000 shots...he probably thinks that he is going to get 1,001 right, makes sense.

So how are you suppose to have confidence in something you never did or have had some kind of trauma in the past that is affecting your present? Well, change the meaning of the word and see what kind of results you can get. 

 I will go over one of my techniques I teach to athletes competing. i teach them to create a "learning frame." If you have never been to "the big game" or "the big stage" yes you might have some confidence issues since you you never competed at the level before nor seen that type of caliber of athlete. 

One tool you can use is you can always say to yourself...."I don't know what's going to happen, but lets have some fun and see what happens, worse thing that can nappen.....is I learn something."

This is what I call "acceptance confidence," you accept the fact that you don't know what is going to happen. However, you are willing to learn and find out. This mentality opens up many pathways and gets rid of the fear or rejection, which we will talk about in a later blog. 

Confidence in this manner allows you to makes mistakes, and laugh at them and learn from them. Being able to laugh at your mistakes, because you know next time you are going to better, is the core of a confident person!

Sign up for the news letter or DM me for one on one mental development! 

-Coach Dibz